Heading into the Unknown

Today I’m packing to attend Laura’s Invitation to Love retreat. I noticed a little hint of anxiety as I prepare.

We’re experiencing a heat wave. What should I wear? Will I like the food? Will I be comfortable meeting new people? But most of all I’m thinking about experiencing transformation. Often, when I remove myself for the bustle of daily life I notice new things. I have unexpected feelings. I experience space inside me and in the natural world. I open up and look at things in a new way.

We don’t talk about this enough.

Change is scary.

Transformation is messy.

Learning new things is hard.

So instead of considering what to wear or what I’ll eat, I might consider how I will encounter the unknown. I can choose to be afraid. I can choose to push it away. I can choose to chase it. I can choose to ignore it.

Or a more revolutionary idea is to wait and see what happens. Meet the moment in the present, and to the degree possible, allow myself to be scared, sloppy, or to fail. All of these are acceptable outcomes. The key is for me to be kind to myself and not judge whatever happens as it happens.

So here I go into the unknown.

I am going to pack sunscreen, just to be safe.