When Bad Things Happen

A friend of mine called this week after watching the news and she talked about feeling fear, anxiety, and dread about world events. After talking for a while I realized how often I try to avoid the discomfort of life’s events. The truth is that, despite my discomfort, terrible things happen every day. Wars break out, people get sick, hurricanes happen, fortunes are lost.

For me, the most common response is to withdraw in fear or try to push away what I don’t want. I am also tempted to ignore what I don’t want to see or hear, pushing the unwanted news out of my mind. At other times I find myself worrying about my future and focusing on what I need to protect myself from misfortune.  

All these responses are completely human. In difficult moments I find turning to the wisdom of spiritual teachers very helpful. In the Buddhist tradition, enlightenment is often symbolized by the lotus flower. The lotus emerges from the muck at the bottom of the pond which nourishes and feeds the blossom. In the same way, it is possible to use suffering and misfortune as the means to awaken to compassion. When bad things happen, we can choose to run away in fear, act as a victim, or fortify ourselves against the coming storm. Or we use our own pain, discomfort, anxiety, and dread as a basis to extend compassion to others suffering in the same way.

The meditation practice known and sending and taking (or classically as tonglen) is a way of exchanging our own misfortune for compassion. This past week I hosted a session on Facebook which you can join here. I hope that you might find it helpful.